I don’t even know what to say about it, I think it’s quite OK, yet. There’re really nice people in the class and so much humor, probably. Nasty and harmless humor, targeting at different individuals. Honestly, it’s scary but we need to get over it.

It’s not about expecting others to be like friendly and nice to you, but enduring and probably try to speak up alittle. You know when you’re so afraid of what people says about you, the judgement that is imposed on you and then your heart is in your mouth and you just can’t wait to get out of the damn class? You shouldn’t be feeling that way… I know, but it just comes so natural. You try to act ignorant, calm and composed buttt is it time to speak up…? Yes it is, I don’t know.

People can treat you the way they want to, they can speak whatever about you, and you can’t expect much from them because it’s not up to you to set expectations on them. Yeah, it’s OK to be awkward. Ok bye.

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Monologue to Lana Del Rey’s “Ride” Music Video

Some of my favorite excerpts from the monologue:

I was a singer, not a very popular one, who once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again- sparkling and broken. But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and losing it to know what true freedom is.

When people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lie in your head. 

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people- and finally I did- on the open road. We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.

Source: lanaonline.com

LANA!

LANA IS COMING TO SINGAPORE! JAJAJAJA, ASDFGHJKL.

Even if it means the Mulberry Opening is for only invited guests, I’m just so happy she’s gonna be here soon.

      damn, i wish i can smile like that.

Even if it means I have to go alone & roam around Mandarin Hotel like a lost tourist, I’ll do it.

   

I’ve been working on a fanbook but lost the determination and now it’s back. I wrote my first entry today and it’s nice to do something like this.

blogging @ work.

School’s starting the week after next. It feels like just… yesterday when I blogged about the end of my attachment and the start of my holidays.

I think the term break has been well-spent, compared to the other long holidays I’ve had, which I’ll spend most of my time at home, watching TV, surfing the internet, sleeping at 4AM in the morning and waking up at 4PM late afternoon, then I’d gain some weight because I’ll eat when I’m bored (even @ work now; I get bored when I’m busy, and eventually my stomach starts growling even though I’m only doing miscellenous, non-streneous paperwork.) I am drained but honestly, it’s so much better than having nothing to do and then feeling worthless for this period of time. This always happens to me during my holidays, weekly/ term-breaks. With the exception of going abroad, then it’s a whole different thing. My holiday is spent resting, resting and more resting.

About my 1 1/2 month work, I don’t know whether it’s productive or not. It gets less productive as time goes, of course… And work consisted of mainly, filing stacks of documents into big files and getting papercuts, scanning, photocopying documents, data-entry and some miscelleneous work assigned. The fatigue only sets in when you’re doing almost the same thing every day, with barely any interaction with people. Well… it’s nice because there’s no need to put up with everyone’s temperament. Working with the computer, excel document and the programming softwares is so much better than coping with arrogant customers and the mean manager’s temper.

And… at least I’ve learnt how to use the computer better and the… photocopying machine. End.

sick.

you know the feeling when you’re unsure whether you’re feeling (close-to)terrible all over from today’s work or you thought that you’ve caught a flu bug and you’re gonna fall sick the next day, with an awful sore throat…

Today’s work went OK, it’s always been OK. Just that now & then, my superior seems to get a little temperament at times. End.