Daily Prompt: State of Your Year

Daily Prompt postWrite up a mid-year “State of My Year” post.

I begin this year with my new year’s resolutions – which is simply to graduate and to pursue a course of study I love. I’ve been thinking about it really hard for a really long time and apparently, I never knew you could get into this sort of stress and conflict with yourself between whether it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, or is it just an impulse decision because of recency. But I’ve still got the other half of the year to ponder about this.

Most of the time, I’m afraid to make decisions to end up regretting on those in time to come. But I understand that if you choose to accept and embrace the good in something instead of thinking about how bad it can get and assuming that it’ll turn out well for you if you pick the latter decision, I think you won’t regret the initial decision made.

To sum up mid-2013:-

I had my internship from February to April – which I find it a positive experience. I’d consider so because I met genuine and friendly people along the way, which I feel it will make my day alot better than fretting over the miscelleneousness level of the tasks assigned to me. People of different positions / rankings in the company show appreciation to your efforts even towards the simplest tasks which carry little weight and they recognize you as part of their team even though you could be less significant, it really makes it.

Then I returned back to school, which I was looking forward to after internship at that point of time. Then the semester goes on. And today marks the end of the group project-presentation frenzy that has been going on for a month! It’s not easy working other people, some of us just makes it more difficult for the others. Personally, sometimes I do as well. While there are also others who make it really pleasant to work with! 

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Daily Prompt: Back to School

Daily Prompt postIf you could take a break from your life and go back to school to master a subject, what would it be?

If I could go back to Secondary School and master the one subject all over again, it would be Science.

I had different feelings towards the subject Science in my primary school and secondary school days. I love Science back in primary school because it marks my first exposure to a series of unusual facts and explanations for the literal things that happened around me (i.e. rain) and in me as well (i.e. human body).

Well, it used to be a great subject until I proceed on to Secondary School and I learnt about Physics and Chemistry – which was just a massive spam of illogical technical terms and diagrams of ions and molecules and then from then on, Science didn’t seem interesting and fun anymore. Also, especially since Physics start to involve Math in it with calculations for electricity and energy, etc., my interest for Science just plunged all the way down when my Physics grade got worse.

Then why would I want to master the subject – Science again? At several points of my life – the time when I was a kid and a few years back when I was choosing my course of study after graduation, I wanted to study something related to medicine, like pharmateatical science, dentistry or optometry (even though I don’t have really excellent eyesight and/or perfect, healthy teeth and gums) ; but you see, the path I’ve chosen depict otherwise and I studied Business instead.

Now I feel that – if I’ve had studied Science seriously and scored a grade which would make me think that I could probably excel in that subject, I’d have go on and pursue that field of study. Actually, I wish I’ve taken every single subject back in secondary school seriously.

Back then, I thought I’ve had put in enough hard work to score me a decent grade to move on to a better school and I don’t understand why I didn’t get what I wanted. There was alot of “study smart” tactics used in secondary school syllabus. I’m never good at “studying smart”, that’s why I’ve always held the belief that the amount of hard work and effort you put in, the same amount of results you’ll get.

At this point of time, I don’t think I have bellowed in regrets for the path I’ve chosen. “You lose some, you gain some” – and what I’ve gained could probably help me to smooth out the paths that I’ll choose in the future.

Daily Prompt: Party Animals (?)

Daily Prompt post: After spending time with a group of people, do you feel energized and ready for anything or do you want to hide in the corner with a good book?

It really boils down to the people I’m with. I feel certainly pumped up when I’m with familiar people whom I can tell them anything in this world; without feeling cautious or judged.

However, most of the time, social situations just drain me out because it pains me to make constant, reluctant efforts to initiate topics of interest / talk with the other party. It’s not with the other party, it’s just me – because every time I’m with someone; whether or not they’re familiar to me, I subconsciously feel that I’ve got to engage the other party in the conversation.

I wish I was invisible – just to observe how some others do feel as awkward as I am but at the same time, not wanting to get seen by them of how I’m just like any of them.

Eventually, I feel that the energy I’ve had left for the rest of the long day has been sucked out dry.

If I had to choose to spend time with a group of people or to hide in a corner with a good book, I will choose the latter. A good book engages you – from the first page when you start reading, all the way until you flip to the last page. Not just to anyone, a book engages its readers who would be interested to engage themselves with the story. The story is always there, while we choose whether we want to read it. But people don’t. Not all of us do. We change. We’re not obliged to.

I like to feel engaged in the plot of a good book because I tend to jolly imagine the life I would like to live, just like the characters in the story. Although the characters I read about depict mostly anti-social personae, however, rather quite fearless and intelligently ‘cool’, who would go all the way out to do something – like solving a mystery which is completely unrelated and doesn’t concern them at all (which I don’t understand why, but I still read it because it’s not the sense in the plot which interests me but the characters).

Reading a book doesn’t make me feel stupid because you need not to react or respond to what you read, it engages you and it’s all good. You can’t respond to people the way you read books – especially books which plots involve the sort of personae I described above. And with the fact that I get all flustered and fearful when people spring up an unexpected question or opinion to me, I feel like I don’t actually have an IQ because I’d just go like “errr…” or muted because I always tend to say the wrong things without realizing that.

Black Beauty.

I paint my nails black,
I dye my hair a darker shade of brown,
Cause you like your women Spanish, dark, strong and proud.

I paint the sky black.
You said if you could have your way,
You’d make a nighttime world today,
So it’d suit the mood of your soul.

Oh, what can I do?
Nothing, my sparrow blue.

[Chorus]
Oh, what can I do?
Life is beautiful,
But you don’t have a clue.
Sun and ocean blue,
Their magnificence, it don’t make sense to you.
Black beauty, oh.
Black beauty, oh.

I paint the house black,
My wedding dress black leather too.
You have no room for light,
Love is lost on you.

I keep my lips red,
The same like cherries in the spring.
Darling you can’t let everything,
Seem so dark blue.

But oh, what can I do?
To turn you on,
Or get through you?

[Chorus] x2

Daily Prompt: Fly on the Wall

Daily Prompt postIf you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?

Not actually a time in history, but there’re so many movies I’d like to be a “fly on the wall” in, without actually getting involved with the cast and the plot but to witness and experience it.

For instance, zombie apocalypse movies – that genre scares me and excites me the most but the fear hasn’t consume me to the extent that I’ll say “I’d never want to watch this genre of movies ever again”.

And since it’s that nice feeling you get when the main character walks out of the disastrous situation alive after wiping out all the other undead and he/she being the only one alive in this world (I guess it could be a sad feeling as well to know that you’re the only one left in this world and there could be millions of undead hidden beneath the cellars of houses waiting to catch you when you’re unaware and make you just like one of them) Hence, I’d want to experience a zombie apocalypse situation without actually getting involved in one because I’d probably die even before I get to the climax of the story.

And other genre of movie I’d like be in is comedy. Imagine working side by side the comedic actors like Steve Carrell and Zach Galifianakis. Some of their movies (such as Due Date, Crazy Stupid Love, Date Night, Hangover (sequels) ) have something in common – the comedic effect from awkward situations. Watching them behind the scenes is humorous enough – it’ll be interesting to observe how they actually get on with their usual roles in these movies. And I say I’d choose to be a “fly on the wall” because I’d never want to get into an awkward situation with an awkward person because personally, I’m an awkward person and it’s difficult for me to spin awkward aura in the air into comedic effect.

Daily Prompt: Your Life, the Book

Daily Prompt postFrom a famous writer or celebrity, to a WordPress.com blogger or someone close to you — who would you like to be your biographer?

I would like Lana Del Rey to be my biographer.

A short introduction to this amazing artist:- She is an American singer and she sings alot about her love, hollywood, Lolita, America and just the 1940 to 50’s era. There’re just so many songs she have written over the years; besides the ones she released on her official albums. They reflect a sort of naivety, innocence, joy and just so little of angst, hatred or extreme negative emotions. She sings alot about past memories and you could actually imagine and think of how it’d be like to be in her shoes when you listen to her voice and the words she used in the songs. But what the critics say is that her songs reflect sadness and regretful feelings – which is true as well and I thought it could probably be a sequel to her singing about the past (happy) memories of her love. She enjoys reading and there’re plenty of references from Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde to Vladimir Nabokov in the songs she wrote (i.e. Body ElectricGods & MonstersOff to the RacesLolita)

[Source]

But I can’t say I can relate to her because what I experienced is entirely different from hers -when I feel frustrated or worthless, I just listen to Marina & The Diamonds because she sings what I feel and it makes me feel better so much better to know that I’m not alone. And I do feel that she actually felt like this once.

Then why Lana Del Rey? Having to listen to her music and know her better through various media platforms like news articles, interviews, her social network sites, etc., there’s this impression she gives me – that she feels appreciative about life and the people involved, which she describes life as “a beautiful sad song“.

Then again, I would like her to document my life because personally, I think her writings evoke more feelings than sense. I want to feel how I’m like in her words, instead of finding sense in words because having to do that will be just plainly describing what I appear and seem to others. I think it’ll be quite an interesting perspective for me to see myself in her eyes. But at the same time, as truthful as I want to be myself and feel good about it when I meet my favorite artists or I could say, attractive people as well, I can’t deny there’s a conscious part of me which fears ruining my impression in her eyes because afterall, these are the people you look up to.

Daily Prompt: Singular Sensation

Daily Prompt postIf one experience or life change results from you writing your blog, what would you like it to be?

I would say now; right at this moment. Writing about life just makes you feel better about life. Writing my blog makes me feel slightly fuller about life – especially writing up something every day.

At least I know I have feelings and opinions about various stuff happening in my life and the world I live in. In reality, I don’t see myself as an opinionated person. The subconscious part of me basically causes me to go with whatever others say and ended up adopting others’ opinions as mine. At least I know something worth thinking is going through my mind every single day when I blog. Whether it’s blogging or any forms of writing, it allows me to keep track of my life throughout the days, months and years.

It’s not easy to be consistent in blogging – back in a few years; one moment, I was consistently blogging about the people in my life and spurs of different emotions. Then it stopped for awhile, for a long while until I deleted it because I soon found nothing to write about.

Then surely there’s that something; that “one experience or life change” which causes me to start a blog again. I started out this blog; writing about Lana Del Rey (10 days of LDR Challenge) because I simply enjoy sourcing pictures and words by my favorite artist then writing about why I love those. Then subsequently, I begin to talk about my vacation job, then school reopened, exams and then internship. But there’re alot of negativity in those. That used to be my trigger to starting this blog – but it’ll be a complete letdown to use this as an inspiration as to why I write my blog.

Isn’t it difficult for one to exploit his/her happiness and joyful moments as a trigger to write a blog? When there’s this gush of thrill and joy going through my mind, I find it so hard to write about my thoughts because I am not thinking when I’m experiencing that delirious state of mind.

Daily Prompt: Barter System

Daily Prompt postIf the world worked on a barter system, how would you fare? Would you have services to barter? Would you be successful, or would you struggle?

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

If I had to exchange something of no use to me to something of value to me (but of no use to the other party), I think the system would make it great.

After “money” came into the picture of our existence, those notes and coins seem to contain a greater value than things which used to have a certain form of value in the past when the barter system was adopted.

Everything used to have a value and money had no value when people were just satisfied with what they could exchange, and now it’s the opposite. Anything we have to offer to a stranger or to buy from him/her, the medium of exchange consciously comes to us as cold-hard cash.

Successful or a struggle?

Probably a struggle when you’re the breadwinner of the family, especially really big families. I am not certain of how the barter system handles salaries paid to employees for their work. However, if it’s managed the same way as the common sales transactions, maybe alot of considerations will have to go into considering whether the salary becomes something of value; not just to you, but also your family of 4 or more.

Daily Prompt: Rolling Stone

Daily Prompt postIf you could live a nomadic life, would you? Where would you go? How would you decide? What would life be like without a “home base”?

If this decision I make doesn’t bind me down for the rest of my life, I’d say I would! And this topic reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books; The Swiss Family Robinsons.

The tale made surviving in the wildlife seem so adventurous and just really cool (!) if you come to think about it – all the natural resources they need for their basic necessities and materials to mend the ship are all found in that one island; coincidentally, the island in which their ship has wrecked. But it’s still a beautiful tale.

However, if I had to choose between staying at home or either going nomadic for the rest of my life, it’ll be a tough nut to crack. Willpower, interdependence and courage – the few personality traits which I find, are the most difficult traits to nurture overtime.

And if I become nomad overnight or so, will I easily build up those personality traits mentioned over the shortest period of time, or will the rest of those traits just deplete off, and then I just basically gave up on life and die?

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Daily Prompt: Tables Turned

Daily Prompt postAre as comfortable in front of a camera as behind one? Being written about, as well as writing?

In my opinion, it’ll always be more comfortable being behind the camera than to be infront of it. I think that I feel better to be the one creating the art and all that work, instead of the one being part of the artwork.

Having to say that, there’s no denial that for the ones at the back scenes, their efforts are very much less recognizable than the ones on the frontline. It’s like watching a movie – logically, the cast of the movie leaves us with a deeper impression and significance than the ones behind the movie because they expresses the work of the back scenes.

Nevertheless, the perks both parties get is the sense of fulfillment attained from the work creation because it takes one to complement the other. Likewise, whether the back scene’s efforts are being praised highly by the general audience or not, it’s always nice to feel that all that work done is actually visible to them and gets recognized somehow – even if it’s not directed at me.

Relating back to the topic, I’ve never been fond of having my pictures taken, especially candid shots! But I don’t hate photography – pictures / photographs could tell alot more things than a paragraph of words. And having to make your own deductions and implications from an image taken real-life makes it even more meaningful.

Being written about or being the one writing? Writing about other seems great; provided if the person doesn’t read it if you added something nasty about him / her. I think I would want to be written about.

Ironically, as much as I hate to visualize and think of how bad an impression I made in the perception of others, I’d like to read about myself in their perspectives of me; but written down in words – not in speech or in any other forms. This could be why letters tend to be so lengthy – written words can express so much more than the things we can and we’re able to tell someone.. Although the tone of your voice is not emphasized so much in written words, there’s still so much truth and realness in writing alone.