The thing about parenting.

Any one of us might have swore to ourselves to never become the kind of the person we would despise. I always believe that we have a choice in everything we do and even up till now, I am still certain about that god damn same belief. Even though that is said, I still like to say that sometimes, we subconsciously do this and do that.

But now I’m thinking that maybe the subconscious mindset is what others perceive another to have. How can we be aware that we’re subconscious of what’s happening around us? In this case, I’m talking about being conscious of becoming that kind of person I mentioned.

How do I begin this… Continue reading


Writing 101, Day Two: A View of my Morning

“Enter a busy train station, and you immediately quicken your step. Step into a majestic cathedral, and you lower your voice and automatically look up. Return to your own room, and your body relaxes.”                                                            -Daily Post

For day two of the Writing 101 challenge, I want to write about the settings I come across every morning when I go to work.

At home, my study desk is like a dug hole where I’d dump everything in it; besides having my laptop which is always layered with dust even though I have tried to wipe it clean every weekend, a work lamp and a gifted calendar I barely took a second look at the dates since I placed it there. The items that have always took its place on my desk are the cosmetics lying all over (previously replaced by the piles of notes, textbooks and plenty of dried-out ink pens before I threw them all out after finals), nail polish bottles, some acne medication, hair bands and the cooling powder which occasionally comes in useful whenever I experience that sort of irritable heat on many humid afternoons I spent at home.

Truth to be told, ever since Mom and I sold our house and rented a room, I’ve been spending most of my time by my study desk when I’m at home. I even have my meals here because we certainly do not have a dining table in a rented room, of course. Although I claim it to be a ‘dug hole’; as OCD as it sounds like, there’s no place I’d rather be (one reason is also because my bed is right beside my desk). There’s everything I need right here that is practically within my reach.

7AM (or 6:50AM, or maybe latest 7:10AM if I don’t oversleep): I rise for work. Nothing still feels more comfortable than my bed in the morning. Those sheets just, somehow, they become cool in the morning. They’re the closest one can get to resting on fluffed clouds which are totally make-believe! I don’t usually have good sleeps since I don’t sleep early but I have to rise early. I realized that my kind of good sleeps, unfortunately, are the ones when I’d try to take a late nap at around 8PM on the previous night while I set the alarm at 10PM but incidentally snoozed it, so I’d end up sleeping until the break of dawn. If I’m lucky, I’d still be in time for work. My preparation for work is basically really routinal: brushed up, dressed up and try to cake up the face alittle, then going to work.

I dread the most about the journey to work.
7:55AM: I take a 15 minutes walk to the train station but it’s not about that that I dislike. It’s good exercise, considering I don’t do that much. In fact, I like the nature stroll, coupled with (with no one but) your favorite music in the playlist. At least it’s something I could try to enjoy before the day begins. Over at the train station, snake-long queues formed outside the train doors are not uncommon.

I’ve heard from someone that there are many observations one can make in morning train rides and it’s true, especially during that time of the day. You can easily group the commuters into different categories: the people who doze off in their seats, people who have their nose in a book and the ones on their mobile devices as well (the category that most of the commuters fall under), the earpiece-plugged-ins and the miscellaneous others, e.g. the ones staring into space.

Smiles are a rare sight in the morning because it is not effortless to put on a smile early in the morning when you barely can get out of bed. Occasionally, I can hear the commuter next to me sigh and display signs of annoyance and displeasure, like fidgeting, when I accidentally brushed my bag against his/her’s. The train can get so shaky sometimes that it’s just not possible to fall back a step if you’re not holding onto anything for support.

About two years ago if I remember correctly; while I was working as an intern, I stepped onto a lady’s foot in the train while she was wearing open-toed sandals with nicely-done pedicures. I can imagine how much that hurts because she yelled “ouch!” and all the commuters turned to me. It appears that no apology is accepted because I got the kind of stare from her which seems to me like the kind of look one would give before slapping the other person, but it didn’t happen. I scrunched my toes so closely to the ground because I was standing right next to her throughout the ride and I had to make sure that it won’t happen the second time.

“When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am.”

beautifully said.

The Daily Post

Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.Maya Angelou by Spanglej, CC BY-SA 2.0.

Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.

Find a beautiful piece of art. If you fall in love with Van Gogh or Matisse or John Oliver Killens, or if you fall love with the music of Coltrane, the music of Aretha Franklin, or the music of Chopin — find some beautiful art and admire it, and realize that it was created by human beings just like you, no more human, no less.

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.

When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am, who we are, what we’re capable of, how…

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