I’m flying off to Chiang Mai tomorrow! A couple of months ago, I was looking forward to it but nearing the date, I seem to fear more than I feel excited about it. It’s going to be the furthest country I’ve been. I’m not going with my family, or people that I know particularly well. Now it feels like a crazy decision. I don’t mean it as a bad decision, whereby I’m having this immense urge to back away now and spin up an excuse the next morning to avoid getting on the plane. But I’m certain of why I made the decision to go for this one because I don’t want to be asking the question: “if not now, when will I ever do it?”. Partially because it’s in my to-do list when I entered university. It’s a nice feeling when you feel all motivated to do everything at once but this sort of feeling is not sustainable at all.
Surely I’ll do my best in the work I’m expected to do. Socializing is tiresome and difficult. Won’t you rather work with tools all day rather than people? It’s not boring at all. You could sing while you work. Talk (to yourself or the tools) while you work. Tools wouldn’t be like “what the hell is she doing? Stay away from that freak.” and even if they do, they can’t do anything about it. I understand, yes I understand that working with people can produce wonderful results than working alone, being all selfish, to claim the credit on my own. Teamwork is a funny thing. Having an opinion could awfully ruin relationships among people but at the same time, it is in this possession of opinion that produces the wonderful results that we speak of.
Anyway, it is not that I’m a hater of teamwork. I wouldn’t be an uncooperative and difficult member to work with. You could always give me whatever I need (or can) do and I’ll do it. Or if you don’t want to give me any work but allow me to choose, yes, that’d be fine too. At times, we can’t stand the opinions of others and the trouble’s when you have to make a tough decision to either forget about it because you’re probably the only one who’s having issues with the person’s opinion (and thus, it’s irrelevant if the majority doesn’t agree with you), or confront the person to tell them that their opinion is ERRONEOUS. As much as you don’t want to hurt them or probably you want to get both of your opinions to blend good together, you’re ultimately still trying to convince them to adopt a different opinion somehow. You could get me to work with a team of tools, plants or animals and I’d love it very much. And it’s not because I get to manipulate these
things beings so that they can’t rebel against me. You could get a kitten, monkey or the king of the Jungle to give me orders and I’ll still be very happy.
Now it feels nice to write about this even though it’s insane and it’s missing the point that I want to bring across. I’ve decided to bring 2 books with me on this journey. The one that I’m currently reading is The Catcher in the Rye. There are barely any climax events to keep you wanting to get back to the page you just dogearred but it’s mystifyingly good as you read on further. It’s very descriptive and it centers more on the things in the protagonist’s head rather than the things around him. He seems like a very intellectual and charming (and discriminating, and rude) guy but I still can’t imagine how he’d look like. I usually can, for the protagonists in the other books I’ve read. I can visualize the environment around him and occasionally, the people he interacts with, but not the appearance of his persona. He doesn’t describe himself as much as he describes the others. All I know is that he’s very tall for his age and has a noticeable amount of white hair. I would love to write alittle more about this but I haven’t finish the book.
Once again, I’ve got no idea how to end this. Abruptly, again. I’ll be finished with the book by the time I get back. Till the next post! X