I ended Sophomore year! It’s been awhile now and I figure that I should get back to writing… more things about myself. Time passed really quickly this year. I made some big decisions; it feels as if I have stepped out aplenty boundaries that I’d drawn or through people’s expectations. I took many interesting Sociology modules this semester and met some really good friends that I think our contact will last for a lifetime, I hope. It has ignited my interest to read more about issues; to tune my focus to non-fiction books instead of sweet fiction stories. Cass and I have been attending more seminars and stuff that could enrich our perspectives or provide a different view of the story that has always been told to us. I’ve learnt more about friendships; about becoming a friend, defining and filtering friends.
I signed up to go to the U.S. for exchange this coming Fall semester. It melts me when I look at the calendar and see that it’s only two months now to the departure date; the first day I’ll be scared out of my wits, maybe cry myself to sleep. It has always been a dream to go to the U.S. – I don’t mean the touristy feeling of traveling elsewhere. It is the world you see alot on TV but almost impossible to imagine yourself in one of those scenes. I understood that it was an impulse decision I’d made and maybe a rather selfish one too. And it’s only now the practicality of finances start to creep up on you. It has not been a problem when I consider that I have a roof over my head, food on my table and an education paid through a loan (that I can worry about paying it off at a later time). But I’d made sure that I had enough money to pay the required expenses before I made this decision. Dad told me to forget about the payments I’d made for the visa and the flights, and stay here instead. It is something my parents have always think that it is just lip service coming from me – she is not serious about it. Now and then when we talk about my preparation for the U.S. exchange, I see them silently looking down then uttering “哎呀，你去美国。。。” (sigh, you’re going to America), seemingly wanting to say something but eventually keeping their words back. So I have to spend more time with them now and give my reassurance (although they remain less convinced) that I will call back every day. Mom learnt to pay the bills via the electronic station. I hope this kind of writing does provide some comfort when I am there and I’d learn to regulate myself and the calling schedules.
I try to read more although alot of the Sociology books still confuse me a large deal. But I would want to think that persisting to read many more of these will eventually cultivate some sort of sense in me to understand its content. I miss reading stories alot – they make train rides much shorter and I do not have to pause midway to take a break. But it surely has to start somewhere even if I don’t particularly enjoy it now. Even if no sense is cultivated in the end, at least the habit follows through.
I started working at a cafe this month. And taking up other miscellaneous jobs like a temporary cashier or a promoter. Working hours ticked by fast so that is good but every day I return home, I had no mood or motivation to watch, read or write something. But something nice that dawned on me was that I actually like providing customer service. I like professional human contact. It sounded creepy to type the last sentence out. It made me feel fulfilling to be a good sport at work and provide good service to customers. It burnt me out like any other things I do at work but I feel good about it after I finished work. You get customers who don’t say “thanks” sometimes and it can irk you abit… but it would be difficult to get mean customers. Hardly I end the day thinking about what a sucky day it has been to talk to so many people. I should share about the last post: I worked at Mcdonalds during the last semester, probably less than ten times. I’d wanted to find out about the fastfood work culture and wrote about the first day although it wasn’t anything new from what you could find online. Now alot of the work I do are dishes, alot and alot of dishes; plating traditional cakes and attempting to explain in a sophisticated manner of what’s inside these cakes – coconut sugar, corn, red bean, bean paste, ginger (?); serving and in the midst of learning how to plate the hot foods. Everyone at work has been nice and friendly. It’s been still alittle hard to get into casual conversations and learning to receive the inside humor while others adapt to it so quickly and supposed sincerely too.
I am done for now. Hope to write again soon.