Crossing fingers.

Next Tuesday, I’ll be going for another university admissions interview. It is for the Philosophy major, a new degree they’re offering. With a small starting intake, it’s gonna be more difficult than I can imagine.

Interviews scare me. Actually, speaking too much do. The last one I went to got me feeling alittle traumatized still. I googled information about the course and the university’s culture of interviewing its candidates. I don’t know if doing this sort of prior research does help. It only gets me feeling more panicky than ever. Yesterday afternoon when I received the call from the university, I was elated they called back afterall. They have made quite a number of calls for the past few weeks but I was on an overseas vacation and I didn’t return the call when I was back. They asked whether I was still interested and I said “Yes! Definitely, I’m interested!” and immediately agreed to go for it. They told me there is gonna be a written test and an interview with one of the professors.

Writing for any official purpose is not something I enjoy. I like to write for leisure, for fun. I don’t have a good command of English – not good grammar, neither do I have a range of vocabulary to exploit when I write. And I don’t speak the language very fluently as well! I say I’m open to people critiquing my writing, but getting a rejection for bad writing… there isn’t anything good to feel about that. Stephen King was good at it (ref: Stephen King’s On Writing), taking in every bit of criticism and rejection but he still continue to write and send his writings back to the same magazines.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to do some last-minute preparations, especially reading. General idea of Philosophy, what each branch of the subject encompasses, articles, etc. There’s gonna be alot of reading to do for a kind of subject like this.  But I still know little about what renown philosophers, like Socrates, Plato, Confucius, stand for to comment about their principles. Like the previous time I prepared for my first admissions interview, I’ve been rehearsing my replies to the interviewers in the bathroom, if any of the questions I’ve predicted were asked on that day!

But it helped just alittle for the last interview because the rest of my thoughts just scuffle away when I’m nervous. I can’t contain myself! This afternoon, I was just thinking about this quote from the movie, Frozen (I don’t obsess myself with it religiously, but I came across the quote somewhere in the Internet). Tell myself that there’s something more important than my fear, tell myself that there’s something more important than my fear, tell myself that there’s something more important than my fear!



2 thoughts on “Crossing fingers.

  1. I always disliked interviews. I never liked to talk about myself because it seemed like I was bragging. But I played the game. It was like being exposed to a non entity who was just doing a job and I was just another cog to be placed in the big machine.


    • Sometimes when fear gets in the way, everything that comes out of my mouth sounds really fake (as much as I want to be true in whatever that’s said).

      And thanks for the comment! I like how writers, like you and some other bloggers I know of, perceive these things through interesting metaphors like: “… just another cog to be placed in the big machine”. In a comical way that we shouldn’t take things so seriously sometimes! Alot to learn from that 🙂

      Look forward to reading more of your other posts! x Take care!


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