insecurities.

So I was watching Asia’s NTM earlier just now. Then there was this Vietnamese model who had a language barrier, and she got lashed out quite horribly by the person-in-charge during a photo shoot. She doesn’t deserve all that harsh verbal treatment; afterall, she has feelings and we can all see that she’s quite hurt about it and she’s trying really hard to understand and stuff. But then they said something about communication between the photographer and the model, or whatsoever. Well, and then she got eliminated, which was quite expected after that lash-out.

Maybe to everyone else, it’s not so much a big deal. But it made me think about how so many of us here, have the tendency to look down on others just because we think that we’re so much better than them in so many ways, and it’s sad obviously and… probably disgusting, I don’t know. And sometimes, I chanced upon some, who’s so damn freaking proud of themselves, it’s like basically like they’re obsessed with themselves and they fall head over heels over ‘dem achievements, which they think no one can compare to them.

Probably because I’ve got lashed out countless times in my life that I get so mad about it.  I don’t talk alot, but when I do, especially to people I’m not close with, I end up talking about all sorts of weird stuff and things that make so much common sense that doesn’t even need to be expressed. And generally, I don’t react fast to things, then I end up looking so silly. I’m not over-thinking because I know, if I meet an exact replication of myself, that would be my impression of myself. “You shouldn’t care so much about what others think.” yes, I shouldn’t.

Just some things I need to change are that I need to grow immune of other people’s opinions and then start to speak up instead of not doing anything to defend myself and ended up covering my ears and wallowing on my bed on late nights to get over how dumb I was. It’s so depressing, I understand it.

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